We have posted this at the special request of Year 7. You can see the Red Nose Day sketch here. The poem Catherine Tate quotes with amazing skill (in the end) is Shakespeare's Sonnet 130 which you can read below:
My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips' red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damasked, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress when she walks treads on the ground.
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.
Another (less comic) version can be seen here.
"A goodly rotten apple" is a (mis)quotation from The Merchant of Venice, Act 1, Scene 3 and "That which we call a rose / By any other name would smell as sweet" is a quotation from Romeo and Juliet. Just so you know.
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